Orbis Non Sufficit
by B3y0nd
Summary: A James Bond Artemis Fowl Crossover.  Takes place between books 1 & 2.  Artemis takes one step too far, involving the world's best spy in his already tangled interactions with the Fairy Populace. Story Complete! Enjoy!
1. Death of a Mole

**Orbis Non Sufficit**

An Artemis Fowl X James Bond Crossover Fic

Compiled by B3y0nd

The events contained here are highly classified, and are not to be shared, under any circumstances whatsoever. In the future, if questioned, you will deny any knowledge of the existence of any and all of the subjects contained within this report.

This report contains the exploits of the famous criminal mastermind Artemis Fowl II, and occurs just after his successful kidnapping of the LEPrecon officer Holly Short. It concerns the mastermind's continued attempts at reviving his family's criminal enterprises, and the subsequent intervention of both the People's Finest, and a single, undoubtedly familiar MI6 Special Agent.

Legal Duties: No Person or Persons possessed herein are the property of either the compiler (B3y0nd) or his organization.

* * *

Artemis' face was a line of serious intensity.

"Is it real?"

"Yes." Answered his enormous bodyguard.

"Good." Artemis reached into his vest, pulling out three sheets of paper. "This is what you asked for."

The other criminal flipped through the pages. "Yes. Perfect."

Artemis mouth curved up as close as he ever got to smiling.

"Butler. Load up the gold."

A few minutes later, the duo drove away.

"Was that entirely wise?"

"Of course. Now I know the location of one of my rivals, and he has gained information that he could just as easily have acquired over the internet."

"You know his location?"

"I had a GPS emitter inserted between the paper and the forged seal of credibility. The police should be waiting for him when he gets home."

Butler smiled. The young Fowl was no less sinister than his father.

The Fowl family stood several million dollars richer. Artemis only traded in gold.

* * *

Nathaniel Rowle drove home on his customized motorcycle. Excited beyond belief, he ran up the stairs and into his large apartment. Flinging shut the door, he darted into the study. He flopped down into his chair, and booted his computer.

"Home so soon? We really don't enjoy moles, Rowle. Who gave you the papers?"

Rowle lifted his head. He knew the voice. It was death, or life in a frigid Siberian prison if this man was after you.

"I won't sell him out."

"Honor among thieves?" A single muffled snip echoed over the quiet room, and Nathaniel Rowle fell dead.

"Moles belong underground, Rowle."


	2. Mr Bond's Partner

The simple, gray Aston Martin drove up into the parking lot. Out of its side door stepped a man in a grey suit, with a matching hat over his head.

He walked slowly into the building, showing the utmost lack of concern for what was going on around him.

"Mr. Bond? You're not usually here this early."

"M asked me in on something special." He responded to the woman at the desk. He grabbed his hat and flipped it onto the coat hanger, not even looking at his target. He walked past the highly attractive secretary, before entering the room of his employer.

"You called?"

M ignored his question. "Now, as you probably well know, we have had an intelligence breach. I just recently sent 002 after the man who bought the data, but he was killed."

"The man still has it?"

"No. The documents were found, torn up, on top of 002's body. We want you to go after the man who obtained and sold the data." She picked up a manila folder, sliding it to Bond over the slick countertop. "His data is in there."

Bond opened the page. "His son?" He asked, staring at the first picture.

"No. That is your target. Artemis Fowl II, heir to the Fowl Criminal Empire."

"Another Fowl? I thought the Russians had dealt with them. Let's see… Domovoi Butler?" Bond questioned.

"You know him?"

"We trained together, once. That was a long time ago, though." Bond fingered his right shoulder absentmindedly. "So… where'd he get this much money? I know his father tried play fair, and lost all their money to a failed Russian investment."

M paused. Her companions wouldn't be thrilled if she told him now.

"Let's just say that he's a criminal. He get's his money the same way the others did…"

"Well then, M. I've got to get going."

"Q has a few things for you. He'll meet you in Dublin. Here are you tickets and papers. Good luck, double-o-seven."

* * *

"Holly! Get the fuck in here right now!"

"Sir… what do you…?" She asked to the beet red face of Commander Julius Root.

"I don't need you to ask me what I fucking want. You're a cop, not a damn maid. Get fucking used to it. Now…" He breathed in through his pulp cigar. "We've got another shot at Fowl."

"Are you sure this is a good…"

"He beat us! Of course it's a good idea! Get it through your fucking mind! He's public enemy number fucking one! What part of that do you have trouble understanding?"

"Sir. Nothing, sir."

"That better be right. Now… we've got the Mud Men after him."

"Sir… If we can't beat him, how can they…?"

"For the first time this meeting, you give a decent question. Now SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME FINISH A FUCKING SENTENCE! No… this one is special. MI6 is after him."

Holly didn't question this time.

"I would normally doubt them too, but this one is special."

"How so?"

"His name is James Bond."

Holly laughed.

"What?"

"We watched a movie about him when we had the last staff party. One of those crappy Mud Man VHS tapes. He's a made up character, sir… no offense meant."

"Wrong again, Holly. That's what they want you to think. You remember Butler, from the siege, don't you?"

"Yeah…?"

"This guy trained with him. But when Butler went off to become Artemis' bodyguard, Bond kept training."

"And that makes what difference, sir?"

"Because Bond is fucking better than Butler."

Holly's jaw dropped. A guy who was better than the man who had killed an adult troll with his bare hands and an ornamental mace. It was almost too much to believe.

"Oh, and the Council just approved a HKL for him." Root added, as if it made no difference.

"They got him a Knowledge license? You've got to be…"

"Think about it Holly. When this guy get's into Fowl Manor, he'll find evidence of us. There's no doubt about it. He WILL. So we figured we might as well tell him ourselves. This also means that we can deck him out in Foaly's gear. Oh, and you're with him."

"What?"

"I asked the Council the same thing myself. But, apparently, since you have permission to enter the house, you're the only one who can be sent. It seem pretty fucking retarded to me. I'd just as soon send Trouble or even myself. But I'm not in a mood to argue with the Council again after all the shit we went through last time. Oh, yes. One more thing."

"What?"

"This is an assassination mission."


	3. Double 0

"Ah. Bond. How nice of you to stop by." Major Horace Boothroyd, or Q as he was commonly known, greeted his old acquaintance.

"Thanks, Q." Bond retorted, stepping past the orange and white construction barriers that had been set up by MI6 to divide off a portion of the Dublin Airport parking garage for their chief scientist's high explosive experiments.

"Now, pay attention... I don't have much for you for this particular mission, double-oh-seven." He practically spat each syllable. He held up a gold Rolex wristwatch. "This watch contains three automatic lock picks for electronic, single, and multiple tumbler locks. It also contains a high powered laser, and a G.P.S. tracker, so we can see what you're up to. Now... I've also managed to provide you with a replacement car, so I hope you can keep it in good condition."

Q pointed at a solid black convertible Aston Martin.

"It's equipped with six forward, two rear, and two side machine guns, four sets of six guided, heat seeking rockets, and tire slashers on all four wheels. You'll also find all the other usual tricks in their usual places. The glove box has far more than the usual weaponry, though."

Bond laughed. "You've outdone yourself Q."

The man rolled his eyes. "At least one of us is getting it right. I don't need to tell you, since you'll ignore me anyway, but try and bring the equipment back in at least acceptable condition."

Bond didn't respond, instead walking over to a small steel table and snatching the keys to his new ride. He didn't even bother opening the door, instead vaulting over the door and into the open seat.

"Your rendezvous point is in this paperwork." Q threw a manila folder into Bond's lap. He quickly rifled through it, drawing out a map, which he folded open quickly as he drove out of the garage. Two Q-branch workers quickly ran to move the orange construction barriers out of the way of the quickly moving vehicle.

Q sighed.

"What's wrong sir?"

"I'll never see that vehicle in one piece again."

* * *

"So, Master Artemis... what's next?"

"Hold on a moment, Butler." Artemis sat in his study, typing furiously. The main computer in the room was connected by a series of wire to a stolen and heavily disassembled LEP helmet. The screen flickered blue, with complicated codes blinking by in the blink of an eye. Then, in a flash, the background turned gray.

"MI6? Again, Artemis. I mean, sooner or later you'll have someone on you."

"That's what I want, Butler. I could barely fish anything out from under the fairies, but Section 6 (1)? I could easily pull a hundred million, if not a billion, for a ransom on one of their assassins."

"And what will you do when a Double-O is breathing down your spine?"

Artemis laughed. "You and I beat fairies with bio-bombs, dwarven thieves, and even a troll. What could MI6 possibly send to stop us?"

Butler paused. "Bond."

Artemis looked up into the eyes of his bodyguard. "A what?"

"Not what. Who. James Bond."

"The man is a myth."

Butler laughed quietly this time. "Really? Look him up." Butler gestured to the computer screen.

Artemis' fingers flew as he typed.

"There. The Double-O roster. All the professional spies and assassins with at least five years of experience in the field, and two confirmed kills. Let's see... 001- Edward Donner, Active

002- Philip Roslyn, MIA."

"That's the one who followed us back."

"Oh... We had him on us all that time... well, I guess we'll just have to watch closer." Artemis skimmed the rest of the list. Finally, he neared the end.

"006- Alec Trevelyan, KIA. 007... well, it appears you're right, old friend. I'm quite surprised."

"Watch out. If he comes after you... well, I might beat a troll, but that man can give me a run for my money."


	4. Short, Holly Short

James Bond parked his new vehicle and stepped out into the small and unoccupied park.

He walked forward and sat down on a park bench, waiting for his contact to arrive.

"The underground wants me? I thought M could come up with something at least a bit better."

"It works for me." Came a voice.

Bond's pistol was out at a speed that even Trouble Kelp couldn't compete with. His eyes scanned the empty side-streets of Dublin.

A figure seemed to melt out of the shadows beside him. He pointed his weapon toward it.

"There's no call for that… Mr. Bond. I'm your contact." The voice was hollow and metallic. The figure was small, probably less than three feet. Definitively female, based on the body structure, and with the proportions of an adult (especially in the spot Bond noticed first). She wore a black helmet and a forest green jumpsuit. A small and rather unrealistic looking gun was holstered at her hip.

She reached up to the helmet, and hit a button on its side. The mask slid open.

"I am Captain Holly Short."

Bond struggled not to laugh. "Bond…"

"James Bond? Ha, I knew you'd say it!"

Bond rolled his eyes slightly. He knew that he would regret that movie deal, even if it did throw people off his tracks.

"So… are you… what are you?" Bond finally worded his question.

_Why do I have to explain it? _

"I'm an elf. Despite all the stories about us, we really do exist. We live near the core of the earth, and we have magic. I am a member of our police force, the LEPrecon."

At first Bond wanted to laugh.

"You have a scar on your right hand?"

"From the Navy." His laughter was stripped away, as his spy instincts kicked in. She knew about one of his two identifying marks. Bond held up the hand. She set her fingers on it, and a few sparks glimmered over the torn flesh. It wasn't completely healed, but it was significantly less noticeable.

"Are you with me so far?"

Bond nodded.

"Good. Now… about half a year ago, I… one of our men was kidnapped by a boy named Artemis Fowl. He used that fairy as ransom for gold."

"And how did you escape?" Bond asked.

"Well I… wait, I didn't say…"

Bond smiled. Reading her face was easy enough, even if she wasn't human.

"Anyway… he let me go. But that's not the point. He's a security risk. Eventually, he'll try and sell us out. He'll ruin our entire existence."

"Because you're afraid that we'll come in after the land?"

"You did for the entire surface."

Bond laughed. It was true. "Well then… why are you telling me this?"

"Because we trust you, and because you are just as… imaginary as us. The trick with the movies was brilliant. You had the vast majority of us fooled, in addition to your own kind."

_So… there actually was some good to come of that? Interesting…_

"So… is that it? I do need to go break into Fowl's and assassinate him, so if you have any tactical information, it would be very useful to me."

Holly smiled slightly. Then, in excruciating detail, she described the siege of Fowl Manor.

A half an hour later, Bond and Holly drove off toward their target.

_She's nice enough, even if this is hard to take…_

_He drives like I do…_


	5. Mr Bond's Rival

The brick wall surrounding the medieval-style home was easy enough to climb. Bond dropped from the height with ease as Holly floated next to him. She was relieved that (unlike in his films) in real life, the spy avoided tuxedos whenever possible.

They snuck across the long open lawn in total and absolute silence, before coming up to a large window made of two panes of soundproof glass. Bond reached into his jacket, pulling out a gun. Two silenced rounds gave them an opening without breaking too much of the glass.

* * *

"Did you hear that?" Artemis asked. Butler had already drawn his gun.

"I'm fine in here. Go check it out." He added, as Butler paused.

"If it's him…"

"It is him. That's why you need to go down there."

Butler smiled, charging out the door. The boy's logic was as perfect as ever.

* * *

The kitchen was furnished in marble and mahogany, showing off the almost illogical wealth of the family. Fresh fruit hung from a large set of bowls in the ceiling. An archway, easily ten feet across, opened into the main entryway, complete with two slightly curving staircases, a grand piano, and several suits of armor. One was noticeably dented. Bond's further observations were distracted by a strangely familiar voice.

"James Bond."

He turned, knowing who was speaking almost immediately. "Domovoi Butler. I didn't expect to see you again."

Butler grunted, turning his gun. "I'll let you go, James."

"You know I can't. That's the way it works."  
A piece of fruit half an inch to the right of Bond's ear exploded.

"You missed?" Bond asked incredulously.

His earpiece buzzed up with Holly's voice. "Do you want me to get him?"

"Deliberately." Butler responded.

"Well… I wouldn't want to delay the mission just for old time's sake." Bond responded, more to Holly than Butler.

In a flash, three shots rang out. The banister directly behind Butler's head exploded as he rolled down the stairs. A second shot toppled a suit of armor behind him.

Bond's shoulder was scratched and bleeding slightly. He rose, firing three more rounds. Butler rolled out of the way, rising to fire.

"You really are an idiot, James. Why did you come to fight me on my turf?" Butler fired another shot, anticipating Bond's dodge. He was trapped, standing right in the middle of Butler's firing line.

"I know I shouldn't have tried it. It just... seemed like fun."

Bond's hand slid to his back as blood dripped down his arm.

"Keep you hands where I can see them, Bond."

He lifted the arm again. Butler rolled to the side, firing, as a single laser flew from Bond's new gun.

"What the hell…" The pieces clicked into place in Butler's mind. He rose, running for the stairs, but another beam stopped him in place.

"I'd hate for you to go so soon, old friend."

Butler turned slowly, his Sig Sauer still in his hand. As his shoulder was turned to Bond, he spun the rest of the way, hurling the gun at his opponent. Bond dove. The weapon broke through the stone and drywall of the house, almost making its way outside.

The giant leapt from the stairs. His fist connected with Bond's jaw, knocking him to the ground. Bond rolled out of the way of a second fist as it put a foot-deep hole in the floor.

* * *

The door creaked open, but Artemis didn't even turn to look.

"That was fast, Butler. I thought you said he would be dangerous."

"Oh, he is. Believe me. He is. Now, I forgot your lollypop, but I'll bring it next time."

Artemis spun in his chair.

"You…" Artemis' mind raced. Oddly, the first thing that came to his mind was he new retort to the "lollypop insult".

"You'll eat those words." It then occurred to him that, although the pun was sound, it was an absolutely stupid thing to say.  
"Well…" Holly drew her weapon. "Not bad for last words."

A shot rang out, from a human gun. The futuristic weapon exploded in Holly's hand.

A swift chop to the left her on her knees.

"I'm glad my plans came to work, even if we were expecting Bond." Artemis showed no emotion as his silent counterpart grunted affirmation.


	6. Screwing Up

**_Sorry it took so long to update... I've been busy. Thanks for those of you who have so routinely review! I appreciate it!_**

**_Now: Here's Chapter 5. I know it's short, but more is sure to come._**

* * *

Holly's vision opened slowly in a whirlwind of colors. Finally, she found herself in the center of a grassy field. Her gun-hand throbbed in pain, keeping a steady beat with the shocking

"Ah. You're awake."

She knew the voice all too well, but it was raspy and metallic, not spoken straight from lips to ear.

With great care, she settled onto her feet.

"Wonderful. I was worried he might have killed you. Well, since you're finally awake, I will make things blatantly clear for you. You've been lying unshielded in a small patch of grass near a major tourist attraction for three days. If the world doesn't know about fairies now, it is only because of luck. In any case, stay out of my affairs. I won't hesitate to… cause more damage next time."

Holly looked around, but found the voice to be coming from insider her LEP helmet.

"Oh. And don't bother coming back for Bond. He won't be around long enough for you to save him anyway."

Holly looked up at the massive stone pillars of Stonehenge as Artemis' voice faded.

"…better get back here right now, Short! I'll have your fucking head if the council doesn't take it first!"

That was Root's voice.

"Sir…"

"Ah. You're final-fucking-ly back on line. Took you long enough… long enough to get spotted by virtually the entire country."

"What?"

"Actually…" Foaly began. "The pictures were deleted from the internet, and we got a mind wipe."

"That's not the fucking point, donkey-face. You were compromised. Get your ass back underground this instant."

Holly hung her head as the voices faded from her ears.

* * *

Bond's head was spinning horribly. He left his eyes closed, fully aware of the total darkness that surrounded him. Instead, he wallowed in his misery.

_What happened?_

He last remembered dodging a blow from Domovoi, but then his memory was blank. Suddenly, a light flickered on. It was dull enough that Bond still didn't bother opening his eyes, or lifting his head. A man in the shadows would still be completely indiscernible.

"Still don't understand what happened? I'll tell you, ex-MI6 agents make excellent employees. Wouldn't you agree, Trevelyan?" Came a decidedly childish voice.

_So… the kid really is the mastermind…_

Bond didn't look up. If the man was present, he didn't say anything.

"What's wrong? Don't recognize the name of your old friend? Seven years ago, in Siberia? Ring a bell, Mr. Bond?" the boy continued.

Still, James Bond did not lift his head.

"Can I kill him?" Asked another voice, far gruffer and older than the first. Bond shifted slightly. He had heard it, somewhere before.

"Not yet. You'll have your chance. But first… we must break him."

It was then that Bond heard the door swing open again.

"Master Artemis…" The voice belonged to Domovoi. His resolve had momentarily wavered.

"What? I told you we were busy, Butler."

"They're here."

Artemis laughed.

"Well, well, Bond. Let's see how much your employer values you."

With that, the darkness returned.

"I'm waiting, Bond. You might get out now, but you won't last long no matter what."

_Trevelyan?!? 006! _

It seemed impossible, but made all too much sense. The door swung shut a final time, leaving Bond alone to fume, or plan.


	7. Bond's Vendetta

A quiet, grinding rasp echoed through Bond's cell. Slowly, but surely, he was breaking free. The nail file would be through the chains in a matter of moments.

"You know it won't do you any good, Mr. Bond. You might be a better marksman, but you don't stand… forgive me, but you don't stand a chance in hell against Butler in hand to hand." The voice belonged to Artemis, but it was metallic and artificial. Bond didn't even bother glancing at the speaker in the corner. He wasn't as helpless as he looked.

* * *

"We can't just leave him there, sir!" Holly pleaded from her stand.

"He's a mud man. One mud man or another, it makes little difference to us." The elder councilman responded callously.

"You can't mean to just let him die there, after he tried to help us!"

"By all means, we can. And besides… he knew the risks from the moment he chose that life for himself.

"Don't you care? A life is a life, fairy or mud man!" Holly screamed, infuriated. She had little care for the situation until Foaly had _accidentally _shown her a stolen surveillance clip of exactly what Fowl was doing to extract his information from Bond.

"Miss Short, if you don't cease your childish behavior this instant…"

"She's right, sir." Came a voice from the shadows. In that moment, all the voices froze instantly. Every head of the fairy council turned to the shadowed figure that leaned against the wall, quietly smoking a cigar.

"He has a knowledge license. If they break him…"

"Commander Root? Are you suggesting we actually go back?"

"We have the opportunity to prevent war between the species. Regardless of magic and technology, we would eventually lose. However… if we eliminate Fowl's gang…"

"What are you suggesting? We already tried a bio-bomb, an assassin… even a troll…"

Root smiled, his teeth grinding on the cigar stump.

"I suggest we send in a LEP Removal team."

"You know full well how that would end, Root. If you have any decent options…"

"Trouble and I will do it, permission or not." At that moment, he stepped out of the shadows. His body was covered in the black and silver body armor of a Removal officer. At each of his hips sat his favored triple-barreled blasters. Across his back, he wore a small sniper rifle and a long, tube-like "_Door-maker_" class laser cannon.

"You're ready?"

"Of course."

"Fine. Go."

* * *

Bond finally freed his hands from the wall, and proceeded to pick the locks with his now free arms. They were easy, with only two tumblers each.

Then, with a smile, he opened the door.

"We were waiting, James. Almost two hours… you really aren't what you're cut out to be, are you?"

Bond dove to the side as Alec Trevelyan rammed a knife toward his face.

"What's wrong with you?"

"You, James. You were always the high and mighty one, weren't you?" Casually flipping the knife and catching it by its blade, Trevelyan threw it toward Bond. A moment later, it rang, stuck in the grout of the stone wall.


	8. Guns, Cars, and a Black Tuxedo

Bond leapt backwards, narrowly avoiding a wide swing by Trevelyan. Then, with amazing speed, he brought his arm up to block another strike from his right side.

The ex-MI6 smiled viciously, bringing a fist toward Bond's chest. 007 grabbed the arm, flipping the man over his shoulder with his favorite judo technique.

Jumping to his feet, Alec Trevelyan reached down to his feet, drawing a pair of combat knives. Bond backed away, careful to avoid making sudden movements as he watched his foe.

A dull thud told Bond he had reached a wall. Unable to retreat farther, he was vulnerable prey. The man who had once been 006 took the opportunity.

Bond caught one of the man's arms by grabbing his wrist. The other met an opposing blade.

"How did you…?"

"Pay attention when you throw things away, Trevelyan."

* * *

Trevelyan glanced at the small hole in the grout next to Bond. Then, in a split second, a lot happened. The grout literally expanded, consuming Trevelyan's face. Bond fell to his knees, hands over his ears. But, perhaps most importantly, a voice rang in Trevelyan's head. And just before he died, he almost laughed at what was asked of him. Unfortunately, due to MI6 documentation procedures, that phrase cannot, and will not be repeated here. _(Trust me; you would probably be offended anyway.)

* * *

_

"That felt good!" LEP Commander Root muttered, slinging his _"Door-maker"_ over his back.

"One down, two to go." Captain Trouble Kelp responded. The thirteen silver suited figures behind the two remained silent.

"There's another cowering in the corner." Root noted.

"Hey! You're James Bond!"

Bond turned slightly. It seemed impossible. He must have been drugged by Fowl. There was no way that Alec Trevelyan had just been killed by a team of fifteen black suited SWAT midgets. Then he remembered the fairies.

"Oh." He muttered, still too confused to produce a witty response.

"We come bursting in here to save your ass, and that's all you can say?" Root asked.

"Give him a break. I'd bet he wasn't expecting the wall to come smashing in on him." Trouble taunted.

"Right. I'm Bond. You are…" Bond questioned, finally regaining a sense of the situation.

"Commander Root."

"Trouble Kelp. You didn't do the thing."

"What thing?"

"The "the names Bond…" thing." Trouble taunted.

The Secret Agent rolled his eyes, resolving to fire his movie agent when he got home.

"Well then… shall we make an impression on Mr. Fowl?"

"Of course." Bond answered.

* * *

Artemis Fowl was half-carried, half ushered across the Manor grounds by his enormous manservant. Butler was quite worried for some reason, and for the first time in his life, he didn't know.

"What's wrong?"

"The fairies… they're back. They've got Bond out, and Trevelyan's dead."

"Oh." Was all Artemis could manage. Finally, they reached the Fowl family car.

Butler dove into the driver's seat, taking only the quickest moment to literally throw Artemis into the back seat.

Artemis Fowl the Second almost wet himself for what happened next. The doors of Fowl Manor literally flew of their hinges as a silver Aston Martin drove up, sliding to a stop a good twenty feet from the pair. Out stepped James Bond. He was clean, shaven, and clad in a flawless black tuxedo.

"Could I convince you gentlemen to surrender now?" Bond asked.

Butler floored it, reaching one-hundred before they even cleared the manor gates.

"Follow them." Root muttered, but Bond held up a hand.

"No… I'll take care of this. Who's coming?"

After a moment, one of the helmeted Removal officers stepped forward. With a grand flourish, Holly tore off her helmet.

"What the fuck, Holly? I thought the Council…" Trouble gasped in a single breath.

"Screw the council." Holly muttered, jumping into the side-seat of Bond's car.

Bond smiled slightly as he slid behind the wheel.

"Right. We'll be back soon."

With that, Bond was off. The remainder of the squad merely stood, jaws wide, as exhaust cloud cleared, leaving an empty field behind.

"Did this really just happen?" Trouble asked, eyes widened with disbelief.

"Which part?" Root responded, just as incredulously.

* * *

"Are we clear?" Artemis asked as Butler sped through the streets of London at easily four times the speed limit.

"No. Keep your head down."

Artemis swung to the side in the back seat, almost falling over.

"This was hardly what I had planned for the day."

"Trust me, Artemis. Bond and I used to race back in the old days. This will be far more fun than whatever you had planned."

"Supposing we aren't shot or arrested."

"That is the general idea, Artemis." Butler laughed slightly as he skidded around a corner, during a red light, into oncoming traffic.

* * *

Holly screamed in enjoyment as Bond increased his speed even more.

"How fast will this go?"

"I'm not gonna test in traffic, Holly?" He paused slightly, before changing his mind. "Well… if you insist…"

Bond floored it, but quickly slammed on the brakes when he flew _past _Artemis' vehicle in barely a second.

"Not as fast as some I've driven, but it'll get the job done. Now, Holly… open the glove box and press the green buttons.

Holly flipped open the panel, revealing a massive control panel.

"Which ones?"

"All of them."

Around the car, hidden weapons bristled out. Suddenly, the Aston Martin seemed a lot more threatening, covered in missiles and machine guns.

"Are you going to shoot them?"

Bond laughed. "Would it bother you if I did? No, I won't."

Then, with a smile, he flipped two buttons on his dashboard, and all hell broke loose.

* * *

Butler screamed around another corner, this time spinning heavily due to the lack of a right rear tire.

"They're gaining on us!"

"Well then… We'll just have to get ourselves away, won't we?" Butler turned the car in a full circle.

"Where are we going?" Artemis asked.

"England."

It was at this point that Artemis felt the need to ask a prudent question.

"You are aware that Ireland is an island, aren't you?"

* * *

Bond found himself behind a flat-back tow truck.

"Quick, James! Turn!" Holly screamed. Instead, Bond clicked a third pedal under his foot. The car shot up the sloped back of the other vehicle at easily three hundred miles an hour, flying over the top of the Fowl Bentley and landing directly in front of them.

* * *

Butler spun the wheel to the side, narrowly avoiding Bond's car as it nearly landed on his hood. Then, with a careful spin of the vehicle, he avoided the bullets that almost tore off their tires.

"Do we need a diversion, Butler?"

"What do you have in mind?"

When Artemis indicated his plan, Butler nearly fainted.

Bond didn't even flinch as Holly ducked below the seat beside him. The bullets that crashed into his windshield barely left dents, let alone piercing the glass.

"Who's shooting?"  
"The kid." Bond smiled.

Holly lifted her head. It was well worth risking her neck just to see Artemis Fowl the Second, with his scrawny little fingers, holding an enormous assault rifle, his torso sticking out of the sunroof of his vehicle.

Again, the boy volleyed off his fire, but Bond remained in pursuit.

"Should I kill him?" Bond asked, flipping a switch on his arm rest. A pack of stinger missiles rose from the roof of the vehicle. Artemis glanced at them momentarily, before ducking back into the car.

"No."

"What?" Bond asked, leaving his eyes on the road. "It's our mission."

"We'll take him alive. So he can pay for what he's done."

Bond rolled his eyes, but said nothing.

* * *

Finally, Artemis spied the docks out in front of him. A ferry across the channel was just pulling out of port.

"Up the ramp! I've got a plan!" The boy cried.

Butler silently abided. The Fowl Bentley flew straight off the end of the now lifted loading ramp. For a moment, the car hung in the air. Then it spun, landing on its roof in the middle of the pile of cars.

* * *

Bond spun to a stop behind the ramp a few seconds later. The gap was too wide when he reached the ramp. He wouldn't have made it.

Holly was about to jump out of the car, but Bond grabbed her.

"What is it?"

"Turn invisible first. There are people watching."

And sure enough, the entire port was watching. Bond opened the sunroof so Holly could shoot out. Then, with absolutely no care, Bond turned, driving back to headquarters. He hadn't failed a mission in ages.

"Holly, get your ass back to base, ASAP!"

It was Root's voice.

"Commander, I…"

"We have a team waiting at the departure point, and a satellite lock on the boat. They won't make it off without us noticing. You, on the other hand, are in deep shit, even if you were right."

"Of course, sir."

"Good."

Holly changed her course, heading back to Stonehenge.


	9. Orbis Non Sufficit

Root stood, invisibly, on the dock of a British ferry port.

Before him, the ferry carrying his precious prisoner arrived in port. Bond carried the largest gun in the fairy arsenal between his hands _("In case they offer resistance." He had explained to the Council)_. Around him, blissfully unaware of his existence, were hundreds of SWAT officers, shields and guns raised. With a flick a switch, Root lifted off, his artificial wings bringing him onto the Ferry's surface before it even managed to dock. All the passengers had been taken off aboard lifeboats earlier, leaving only the captain and the two stowaways onboard.

Root searched the ship with amazing speed, not even bothering to turn off his wings and walk.

"Commander?" Came a hoarse voice in Root's ear.  
"What is it, Foaly?" The mildly entertained captain asked, happy to have finally caught Fowl.

"Um… Artemis Fowl is on the line."

"Fine. Put him on. He probably wants to surrender peacefully…"

"One problem, sir."

"What?" Root barked. He didn't like problems.

"The phone trace is directly from Fowl Manor."

* * *

"Still wondering how I got off?"

Butler smiled as Artemis Fowl took the opportunity to taunt his foe.

"No fairy has permission to enter my house as of now."

There was a silence as Root responded.

"Go ahead. Blue rinse us. It won't work, and we both know it."

Again, Artemis waited, smiling slightly.

"There's no call for that sort of language. Give Holly my best regards. Oh, and congratulate Bond. He got the closest anyone has ever come to catching me. Goodbye, Commander." Artemis hung up the phone.

"It was a bit risky to jump out of the car at full speed." Butler commented.

"Yes, but Bond was hardly expecting us to be twenty feet from him."

"Are you done with the criminal life now?"

"Oh, be a sport, Butler. That was quite fun. I've never been in a car chase before. We'll need to acquire a car like that."

"And replace the old one."

"Yes, of course. Now then… back to business."

"What did you gain from all this?"

Artemis smiled, holding up Bond's information cards and a sheet of passwords to MI6 profiles he had obtained while Bond was in their custody.

"Nothing's enough for you, is it?"

"Orbis non Sufficit."

"What?"

"Bond's family motto. The World is not Enough. Well… except perhaps gold."

Butler smiled. "Aurum es Potestas."

* * *

M glared at Bond as he walked into her office.

"He got away?"

"I assume you already know. I'm just glad it's over. Between Butler and Trevelyan, I didn't think I'd make it out."

"It's not over. We'll finish this, sooner or later."

"Who else is there to send?"

"The specialists. You, Ethan Hunt, Jason Bourne, J and K…"

"Who?"

"Bond, you do realize that in the past few days, you gained knowledge that we weren't the only people on Earth… well, the world is a lot wider than you realized."

Bond sighed, preparing for another mission.


End file.
